Posts by life is to short

106

Walking a thin line - Resigning Elder

by Sanchy in

jw
friends

warning of a long boring post ahead.

i feel like i need to vent my story out, as i feel quite helpless at the moment.. i'm 31 year old, married, father of toddler with another one on the way, due later this month.

i've been serving as elder for about 4 years now in a south florida congregation.

What was the "Pecking order" in your congro??

by karter in

in my old congro the p.o's wife came 1st before anyone and i mean anyone!!.

karter..

life is to short

Divergent

You are so right about wealth. If you had money you were top dog. I live in the northwestern US and have served at Brooklyn Bethel. Everywhere I have been money is the power trip.

We lived on nothing $200 a month and pioneered where the need was great, we gave up everything for the "truth" and yet I have been yelled at, told I was stupid by one of the anointed non the less, on and on for putting the truth first and not having money, yet you cannot live in an area where there is hardly any work to serve where the need is great and have money. Then we had a couple move in who did none of this but the elder husband had really high paying job. You would have thought he walked on water, watching the other elders and their wives suck up to him.

Yet when my job offered me the chance to go to college I got so much hell for it that I had to stop. I really hate this religion and it is just so wrong in so many ways.

LITS

49

"If I wasn't born a JW, I would never have become one."

by OneEyedJoe in

i've seen it mentioned by a few on the forum that at some point there was a realization that had they not been born a jw, they never would've converted no matter how many times the jws tried to study with them.

this was my experience too, and i'm wondering how universal it is for those that were born-in but eventually left.

i think i started having this thought (more specifically that if i were not born a jw, i would surely have become an atheist by now) in my late teens.

life is to short

startingover you said "I now realize i was a closet atheist for most of my life."

That was myself. I remember clearly the day when I realized I was agnostic, I was four years old. My grandfather had been talking about God when we were visiting and we were in the car, I asked my mother what grandpa had said and why. She was frustrated with me and told me that it was crazy, etc to not believe in God.

I clearly remember thinking even though I went to all the meetings and both my parents and older sister who was 10 years old had a strong belief in God that they were wrong and grandpa was right. My grandfather was atheist and at 4 years old I did not believe like he did that there was no God but I felt that God did not care about us.

Even though I went on to embrace the JW's as a teenager, young adult. I pioneered, served where the need was great, went to Bethel, etc in my heart I was and have always been agnostic. I just find it strange how a child can be so sure like I was, and even though I lied to myself and tried to force myself to believe in God or a God that cared I always knew deep inside that God never did and does not care about us.

We are such strange people when we can lie to ourselves even.

LITS

49

"If I wasn't born a JW, I would never have become one."

by OneEyedJoe in

i've seen it mentioned by a few on the forum that at some point there was a realization that had they not been born a jw, they never would've converted no matter how many times the jws tried to study with them.

this was my experience too, and i'm wondering how universal it is for those that were born-in but eventually left.

i think i started having this thought (more specifically that if i were not born a jw, i would surely have become an atheist by now) in my late teens.

life is to short

I told a CO this once. That if I had not been born into the family I was that I would never have become a JW. He looked at me and said 'see that is how much love Jehovah has for you because he read your heart and put you into that family knowing this. This is how much Jehovah loves you.'

I told the CO let me get this straight my parents were extremely abusive and I suffered hugely for that, not having a childhood at all and then the friends treated be badly because of how strange my family was I had to overcome so much. I was never invited or included with any of the JW's as a child everyone kept away from us, I was not even offered rides to the meetings and had to walk 3 miles each way when I was in my late teens, I struggled to pioneer because the other pioneers did not want me with them in their car groups, I have been to Bethel and and some of the friends treat me like dirt for that for some insane reason. So you are telling me Jehovah had me go though all of this pain because he knew I would not join on my own.

The CO said "yes." This is when I really started to wake up.,

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21

What was the "Pecking order" in your congro??

by karter in

in my old congro the p.o's wife came 1st before anyone and i mean anyone!!.

karter..

life is to short

I always hear how the elders wife's are the queen, top dog, the one really in charge at the hall, etc.

I do not know what was wrong with me but as an elders wife I was put down, treated like crap, etc. It was horrible, Other elders wives would not speak to me period, they had their cliques and I WAS NEVER INCLUDED. One time my husband gave a talk out and he was in his circle talking to the elders from that hall and I was just standing there feeling like an idiot and then I looked around and there were groups of other women at least two and they were talking and then looking at me and then back to talking. Not one came toward me to say hi, I felt like I was in jr. high school again. Sometimes I would approach them and try to introduce myself and they would just stair at me and not even acknowledge me. Hello I am standing right in front of them. It was totally crazy and I honestly do not to this day know why.

When they would call for an elder's meeting after the meeting it was HELL. The other wife's would huddle in groups and I would just stand there feeling stupid. Sometimes these emergency meetings would go on for an hour or more. There were many nights that we did not get home until after midnight or latter.

I hated being an elder's wife.

LITS

24

Types attracted to the sect known as jehovahs witnesses.

by atomant in

l have observed the types of people attracted to the sect are many times unbalanced,unstable,emotionally insecure types.the jdubs seem to home in like vulchers circling the prey ,preying on the vulnerables.they tried it on me when my father who was an elder died.promising that if you become a dub you will one day see him again.l said how can you promise that when you keep making false misleading predictions.l was wondering if others have observed this phenomenon.

life is to short

Yep that was what always got me was how many mentally ill there were. And to make these poor people go door to door to recruit others after they get done love bombing them is criminal.

I have been door to door with mentally ill people who are hearing voices and selling door to door stresses them out so badly that they are shaking like a leaf. It is beyond embarrassing to be standing at the door when a householder opens it and this totally mentally ill person stumbles and shakes telling the person that that have to become a JW or else die. Almost all of the mentally ill people I was around INSISTED that they TAKE ALL THE DOORS. I do not know what was with that but they would get so wigged out if I did not let them that it was just easier to go with the flow and look stupid to strangers at the door then to have to spend the day with a crazy person mad at me.

LITS

62

Brooklyn news on sending the elderly packing

by I am a Bible Student in

johnny the bethelite on this program talks about the older bethelites being targeted by watchtower.they are getting rid of those at bethel who are 65-87 years old, some being anointed even the widows of former governing body members who gave decades of loyal service time to the watchtower organization.. the reasons the very elderly are being expelled are money in that for their age range they cost so much to cloth, fed, and medicate, having problems from high blood pressure to dementia.

they include persons such as sister henschel whose husband had been a watchtower president and marian sydlik whose parents are long dead.. https://soundcloud.com/rick-fearon/jan-16-2016-johnny-the-bethelite-watchtower-insider-host-his-radio-program-from-brooklyn-ny .

life is to short

i really hate this kind of sensational talk. I was at Bethel and there is no way that I could ever believe that they would send ones like Marian Sydlik and Henschel's wife out in the street.

They may be heartless but not that heartless. Stuff like this being promoted as the truth only makes it harder for those of us who know the ttatt to help get our families out. There is so much wrong with the religion that is provable that to spread stupid gossip about them kicking a 92 year old wife on the sidewalk who is deaf and blind and has dementia only makes us look crazy. I just wish it would stop.

Seacher is so right when he said

Definitely requires verifiable proof before any of us can repeat such atrocities to our still-in family etc.

Otherwise, it will only serve to reinforce their opinions of "apostates on the web."

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61

New here

by MarkofCane in

hello and thanks to everyone for participating on this forum it has really been of much value, for those of you that post here know that your words are not lost you never know who is reading your expressions, lives are being changed and nonsense challenged.

i’m not much of a writer so excuse my untrained writing style and grammar but i want to share my story to help anyone who is visiting here to see that we are real people, fathers, mothers, sons and daughters who have come here for answers, there is no agenda, just searching for truth.

i hope my story will help others as so many here have helped me..

life is to short

Welcome. I know where you are coming from, once you know ttatt there is no going back no matter how much you wish you could. Sometimes I truly wish I could as life just seemed simpler in many ways but it was all a lie and better to find out now than even latter in life. Glad you found this place it saved me just to know I was not alone in my awaking was huge.

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49

The wonderful things you hear AFTER you step down as an elder!

by redpilltwice in

well, well, that was quite a heartfelt welcome on this site four days ago.

thank you all for the encouraging replies.

one of them was this one from magnum: "hey now, don't just pop your head in and disappear.

life is to short

Welcome and thank you for your insight.

LITS

17

How could i have ever let myself get involved with this cult? pains me when i think about it.

by goingthruthemotions in

when i think about where i am at now in my life, in my marriage, with my kids.

why did i get involved with this cult?

i have brought out the cult personality in my wife and there no turning her back.

life is to short

i hate my wife for what she has become. when she is her authentic self, i love her with every once of energy, every breath. when she is in cult mode. i loath her. i want my wife back, i want my family back...i want time back,

I can so relate to what you wrote there. I would never have married my husband if he had been in his cult mode when we dated. When we dated I thought he cared about me and my feelings and wants, etc. That we could be a couple, a team in marriage. I bought into the JW'sm but I put my family first and the religion second.

As soon as we got married he was all cult mode, 'you should have never married an elder if you did't want to live this way' was what he told me.

I just never had any clue or indication that being married to an elder meant that I was second at best most of the time third or fourth or firth when it came to the religion. There was just no way for me to know it. Even now looking back I still do not think I could have predicted it.

I just feel so much like I wasted my life, so I totally get where you are coming from I am so sorry. It is the worst feeling.

LITS